They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
