16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
