I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
