My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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