Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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