I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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