just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
