I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize