I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
