I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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