I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
