apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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