Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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