look no pants
It's Friday. Sex?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There r osticjed everywhere
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
