I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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