Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize