We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This baby is an asshole
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
