M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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