Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We have started to decorate penises.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
