At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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