I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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