he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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