wake up i wanna do it froggy style
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
