They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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