Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
