Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
