i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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