escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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