Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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