college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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