Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
