Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
