Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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