Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
