Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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