just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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