Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize