sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
this will be a night to untag.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
