take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
