This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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