Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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