Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize