We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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