bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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