i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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