i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
