called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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