Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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