Cold hands, warm shart.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
