I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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