I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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