How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
