I just saw a hot homeless man
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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