who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
