FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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