thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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