if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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