Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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