I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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