you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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