They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
